‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the SU,
Students have gone home with lots of work to do.
Café staff cleaning their ovens with care
In the hope that next term more customers will be there.

A lecturer nestled all snug in their fishbowl
Has visions of 1st class essays delighting their soul.
And Becks in her café, and us in our shop,
Comparing our takings, who is on top?

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from the tills to see what was the matter.
Away to the office we flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

A man dressed in red, black boots and a hat.
It was clearly Saint Nick, there was no mistaking that!
With a sack full of coal, ready to scold
Miscreant students, not doing as they’re told.

He spoke not a word, but it was clear to see
He was lacking sleep, so we offered him coffee.
From Starbucks though, he refused to drink,
He preferred Book and Bean, and with a nod and a wink.

Saint Nick was gone, and we were perplexed,
Stepping outside, more than a little vexed,
We looked to the sky, in search of the truth,
And saw a sleigh disappear off the snowy turf roof.

Before we had time to consider what was ‘fore us,
The sleigh flew away without much of a fuss.
Towards Grand Parade, and then out of sight,
Exclaiming, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”